• Brian Newman

Dead-ends, Cul-de-sacs and Highways of Failed Friendships

You know that feeling you get when a friend stabs you in the back and you decide that the "friendship" you banked on actually meant much more to you than it ever did to them? I do.

It's a feeling that has visited me all too frequently in life and a constant reminder that you are your own best friend.

When it comes to loyalty, the highest obligation of fidelity falls to you and you alone. I have come to believe and understand that you owe absolute fidelity to yourself above all others exclusively.

All the promises of brotherhood, solidarity and uttering of pure emotional rhetoric mean nothing in the dead still of night when you're left to ponder the deeds done dirt cheap on the false currency of an over-valued friendship between you and that friend you never turned away in their moment of need.

The vicious competitor that sleeps within us all allows us to quickly fall into a spiral of revenge like actions to underscore the distain that our so called friend's actions or inactions, as the case may be, invoke within ourselves.

It is this precise moment I stop and consider my options like streets on a map.

A moment where a wrong turn can lead me into a dead-end of hate, a col-de-sac of confusion or, if I get it right I can enjoy the freedom of a four lane highway and speed away from the toxic spill that is now the scene of a fake friend revealed.

I encourage people every day to stop and take stock before you make the tough decisions that follow relationship breakdowns.

Relationship breakdowns in all their forms are taxing and filled with as many opportunities as they are with heartache, the trick to surviving these relationship breakdowns is to mind map your options, consider the possible and likely consequences of each route and be prepared to get mud on your tires if you're required to take the show off-road for a time.

Get a map or make your own, either way, head for the highway and put the pedal to the metal, think before you act and act on what you think.

Above all else, be kindest to your one and only true best friend.